Preserve the relationship with elderly parents
One of the pillars of the relationship between parents and children is mutual help and protection. There comes a time in life when the child has to take care of the needs of mom or dad. In addition to practical difficulties, this condition often collides with emotional barriers. Many elderly parents cannot accept the fact that they need assistance to carry out normal daily actions.
Sometimes, a sense of guilt also sets in: elderly parents are aware of the effects their condition generates on the lives of their children. This can trigger a defense mechanism that makes elderly parents selfish. Getting older is difficult and you need to understand that seniors who behave surely don’t do it on purpose.
Old age involves a number of major changes in a person’s life. You have to live with a painful body, with the few occasions of social life and, sometimes, with pathologies. The sadness of an elderly person can turn into acts of stubbornness, but it is precisely at that moment that you must strive to understand his discomfort.
Trying to put yourself in the shoes of an aging person is the first step in understanding their needs and preserving the parent-child relationship.
Sons and elderly parents living together
As parents get older, it is not uncommon for children to welcome them into their homes. This type of solution is a big advantage for some because it makes it easier to meet daily needs. Similarly, a situation of coexistence between children and elderly parents can become complicated. There is a risk that parents always feel like guests or consider themselves too big a burden, but also that they become too intrusive.
This is where all the love and understanding that the child is capable of giving comes into play. Despite the efforts, it happens that goodwill is not enough and the elderly behave in a way that is difficult to manage. In the case of an unmanageable elderly person, you need to arm yourself with patience and seek a dialogue with the parent: be kind, listen to his concerns and involve him in your life.
How to help elderly parents who live far away
When the parents are elderly and the children live far away, the situation can become really problematic. Sometimes, children living in another city feel guilty because they are unable to give them all the practical support they need.
To make things easier, it helps to have a clear understanding of your loved one’s needs and to organize time and resources to make it easy for them to provide the assistance they need.
When elderly parents live away from their children, establishing a dialogue becomes even more important. If this is the case, call your parents often. Ask them if everything is okay and if there is anything concrete you can do to make their situation a little easier or make them miss you less.
Practical Tips To Help Elderly Parents
We have seen that managing the whims of the elderly is a process that also affects the emotional sphere. However, practical difficulties are on the agenda, and caring for a dependent parent is often a source of great stress. Here are tips to help elderly parents be as peaceful as possible. And feel good too.
Include your elderly parents in the decision making
Nobody wants to lose control of their life, especially if they already have to deal with the inexorable passage of time. That is why it is important to involve parents as much as possible in planning their care. This simple attention will help them see you as someone who cares about their well-being. Rather than someone who undermines their independence.
Initially, they may resist some of your decisions. Now is the time to be patient and manage the changes gradually. If possible, do your homework with them instead of for them. This approach may take longer but will have beneficial effects on the elderly person’s self-esteem and allow him to maintain his functional abilities longer.
When impaired motor or cognitive skills make collaboration impossible, offer your help no matter what. Give him some time and, if he declines, try again gently. In this way, the elderly parent will feel interested in him and will tend to soften to the point of accepting help.
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